Thursday, August 22, 2013
Scared, Stuck and Unmotived
So this post is going to be some random thoughts. I've been struggling lately with motivation...not just in my running but in everything. I do so well for a little while with eating and keeping the house and training and doing all the duties a person is supposed to and expected to do. Then it's like I take 9 steps backwards. I don't know what it is...maybe it's partly because I'm scared of not finishing something or is it not finishing something "good enough"? Also something I struggle with in all aspects of life. Am I a good enough wife, mother, daughter, sister etc...you name it I'm always questioning that. Anyway...this week I tweaked my back picking beans at our crop share farm and for a couple days I wasn't able to move very well. Today I felt a little better so at the last possible second I decided to just go run. I made it 2.4 miles. I felt like it was the first time I ran in my life...what's up with that? I ran 6 miles 2 saturdays ago and over 5 miles a week ago. So my question to you I guess is this....what is it that you do to get over this lack of (whatever you wanna call it)...when you are stuck...unmotivated and frankly scared of both of those things...especially if you have a half marathon staring you in the face roughly 4 weeks from today??? HELP!!!
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ReplyDeleteGwen, maybe it's the "baby of the family" syndrome because so much of what you are feeling I have felt more than once! As for an answer to that one, well, I think I've finally reached the point where I can say "yes, I'm good enough" When you're kids have left home they will assure you that yes, you ARE an amazing Mom and they will thank you for everything you did and are still doing for them (because being a supportive Mom is a life time job) I've always been the "fat sister" (in my mind anyway) at family gatherings and finally my sister isn't a total beanpole, though still much smaller than I am, so that helps but I've also come to the place where I AM happy with myself though still dream of wearing a smaller size (some day soon, really ... ) I've started projects that I was so excited about and then something happens and I never seem to get motivated to get back at it. I guess really I need an answer to your question too! I do want to encourage you, though, to step back and look at what you HAVE accomplished and ARE doing every day. Look at your children's smiling happy faces and don't overlook the loving glances your hubby gives you. It all adds up to you being good enough, just right and actually better than good. I don't run, so am obviously not an authority, but maybe your body just needed a break and hurting your back is one indication of that .. back off, the energy will return. And good luck Gwen, you inspire ME
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