13 Miles...What...are you crazy?

I have been asked so many times...Why are you doing that...are you crazy?...Yes...I guess I am crazy!!!   I don't know why but the vocabulary "marathon" has always drawn me in.  So that's why I'm doing it.  I'm a real person...I'm not your typical runner...I'm overweight, I'm a mom who stresses out and struggles with more things than I can count on two hands...so I am doing this because I want to prove to myself that I can do something like this.  And maybe, just maybe because I'm not your average runner...maybe someone else out there that is struggling with similar things has the courage to start something they are scared of. 

So the lucky number 13 (.1 is extra luck I think ;) ).  It's 2013...so 13 miles is a good distance to run...right?  I was born on the 13th...so was my dad.  I remember being 13 years old, my parents threw me a surprise party. I also went through 13 years of grade school...all of which I remember struggling through the dreaded Physical Fitness tests in gym class.  So these 13 miles are for 13 years of "running" that dreaded "MILE" in gym class.....I can do that now...in fact I think I've actually shave 2 mins off my time that I used to run the "MILE" in gym class.  20 years later at 38 years old no less and a few "ahem" pounds heavier.   And I think it brings it back full circle that this race will take me back to my college stomping grounds running Kelly Drive and Lincold Drive around the course that I used to row for Drexel...when I was in the best shape of my life...(and I STILL hated to run even then).  I do enjoy it so much more now.  I ticked off  six miles today...I felt good and was happy most of the way around the lake....so regardless of what happens on race day....I..can run 6 MILES....seriously...I think that is pretty amazing.  So crazy or not...I'm giving it my best shot!!

Scared, Stuck and Unmotived

So this post is going to be some random thoughts.  I've been struggling lately with motivation...not just in my running but in everything.  I do so well for a little while with eating and keeping the house and training and doing all the duties a person is supposed to and expected to do.  Then it's like I take 9 steps backwards.  I don't know what it is...maybe it's partly because I'm scared of not finishing something or is it not finishing something "good enough"?  Also something I struggle with in all aspects of life.  Am I a good enough wife, mother, daughter, sister etc...you name it I'm always questioning that.   Anyway...this week I tweaked my back picking beans at our crop share farm and for a couple days I wasn't able to move very well.  Today I felt a  little better so at the last possible second I decided to just go run.  I made it 2.4 miles.  I felt like it was the first time I ran in my life...what's up with that?  I ran 6 miles 2 saturdays ago and over 5 miles a week ago.  So my question to you I guess is this....what is it that you do to get over this lack of (whatever you wanna call it)...when you are stuck...unmotivated and frankly scared of both of those things...especially if you have a half marathon staring you in the face roughly 4 weeks from today???  HELP!!!